Its the last day of the year of 2012, duh! Its the first time I use mobile blogging, its an impulse.. (On a bus, on the way to meet Ivy)
This year is certainly quite an ok year, as usual, some up and some down.. But still better as compares to 3 years back.. Time flew, doesn't it? Although I say that every year, but the passage of time is not exactly flowing the same.. Some feels longer, some feels right.. Finally, I am at the last leg of my poly education.. I am glad and relief that the end is near.. I can finally move on and do my own things, and finally I can say that this route has ended, the past will be behind me..
I am really surprised by the changes that happened this year, whether its it good or bad, it's hard to really say until I can prove it.. One thing that I really came to realize, especially after my recent meet up with Mr Ong is self compassion (which I only know the term even more recently), my experience with my current band, NYPSO had indeed almost ruined my passion, of which most of the people around me either didn't really know or understand what has happened, which I cannot blamed if they're not directly part of this horribly orchestrated series of event.. That was the trigger, the last straw.. When we talked through it, he made me realised that all along I had the answers, which I am aware, I just didn't want to face it.. And he also drew my attention to some things that although I knew but failed to acknowledge.. Bottom line is that this year made me realised that people are indeed selfish, be it peers, people around you, even your closest friend and family, last but not least, thyself, everyone.. At the end of the day what matter is yourself, as in, what do you want to achieve, not those, the world only revolves around me that kind.. What you're willing to do, might not be what others are willing to give..
So I really learnt a lesson, some people can be so darn selfish that they are willing to ruin others just so that they can proof themselves, their stand, without any concern for others nor the situation.. At times I had wished that I am not so considerate towards the whole picture and just blow out on the spot to proved my point too.. What happened last time was damaging to me, albeit none physical, but still, made tremendous impact on certain aspect of myself.. At the end of everything, which I am glad that it kind of goin to end, at least at the end of the day, I finally can put things down..
When I turned 21 this year, it made me really face some decisions that I previously I hadn't think through and that's why I was in a situation that left me high and dry.. But I will manage, and things will sure have its sunny and it's rainy days, it's a new journey ahead, especially starting from March!
I have many things to look forward to, from getting a new job, to building my very first rig and to prepare for my very first overseas trip to Japan and Taiwan in 2014, it seems really far, but I am glad that I will have a chance to be there by my own effort!
It will definitely be a year full of changes, big or small, it's still inevitable, I will just have to take one step at a time!前進め!
